A clip lit the fuse, Sol Phenduka jumped in, and suddenly, everyone is arguing about money, access, and who really gets hurt.
How this debate even started
How this debate even started
- So basically, radio personality Sol Phenduka reacted to a video making the rounds online.
- In that clip, media figure Gogo Skhotheni questioned whether a dad who is not paying should even see his child.
- The internet did what it always does and took sides immediately.
- Sol’s stance was simple but loud: seeing your child should not be treated like a prize you unlock with money.
- He framed presence as support too, especially for a child’s mental and emotional well-being.
- His logic was that kids eventually figure out who showed up and who did not, without adults blocking the process.
- According to Sol, using access as punishment is a long-term mistake.
- He warned that the child might later resent the parent who controlled the gate.
- The message was basically let the relationship play out and let the truth reveal itself over time.
- Some people backed Sol hard, saying children need their fathers regardless of finances.
- Others pushed back, arguing that love does not pay for food, clothes, or transport.
- The comments turned into a full-on values debate.
- Author and podcaster Penuel Mlotshwa jumped in with a more critical angle.
- He questioned the idea that time alone counts as real support when daily needs cost money.
- His point was blunt: kids still need to eat, get dressed, and move around.
- Penuel zoomed in on logistics, like who buys the food, who pays for transport, and who covers communication costs.
- He argued that even without a job, effort still matters.
- Hustling small items or borrowing to contribute was framed as proof of intent.
- Penuel did say access should not be blocked if the mother is also struggling financially.
- In cases where both parents are broke and relying on grants, he felt denial made no sense.
- That was his one big caveat.
- He pushed back on mothers being the sole judges of what counts as enough.
- His view was that fathers should calculate costs based on their lifestyle and cover half.
- The responsibility, in his eyes, needs structure, not vibes.
- Penuel ended by defending dads who are paying or genuinely trying.
- Blocking access in those cases, according to him, should not fly.
- And just like that, the debate stayed very much unresolved.