What does dating entail in Chivanhu?

[Bla Jedza]

So what exactly does dating entail in Chivanhu or in African Traditional Religion particulary in the context of Zimbabwe?

 

[Borrowdale Barron]

Culturally speaking in Chivanhu, the major thing of avoidance is kuchaya mapoto and impregnating a daige without paying lobola in full. This doesn't mean all people in Zimbabwe observe this, but if a daige dies while you are busy kuchaya mapoto then her bali and her quan will refuse to bury the next daige without you paying some of the ritual money and lobola on top.

 

[Queen]

I will bet 90% of people in Zimbabwe don't date in the context of Chivanhu. That's something which is regarded as being old school, ekse. People might meet today and smash in a few hours -- not that I condone it but think about it. ChiRungu or chiRumbi: Western norms have eclipsed the values of Chivanhu. So that's that.

 

[Black Panther]

This subject is very simple and straightforward.

Chivanhu (or ATR ways of doing things) whatever way you wanna put it across—dating here entails people should do so primarily to get married and build a family.

Time-wasting doing things like kubika mapoto (or "kuchaya mapoto") that's not acceptable at all.

On the other hand, cohabitation, and having plenty of side chicks or side dudes are things associated with Chirungu.

 

[Numero Uno]

What makes kuchaya mapoto entirely all bad when some people end up getting married in the process?

 

[Scorpio]

What makes kuchaya mapoto entirely all bad when some people end up getting married in the process?

That's not true because most people who engage in kuchaya mapoto they usually become baby mamas without the baby daddy being around. It's well known kuchaya mapoto doesn't encourage the idea of keeping a family unit together so consequently it's shunned.

 

[Black Panther]

What makes kuchaya mapoto entirely all bad when some people end up getting married in the process?

Of course, there are some folks who get married doing that sort of thing.

On the other side, some daiges may get caught up in kubika mapoto with an oan who ain't do right with baby mama #1, #2, #3, #4, etc. So what's the point of being part of that harem thinking kubika mapoto is gonna change the next oan?

 

[Scorpio]

Of course, there are some folks who get married doing that sort of thing.

On the other side, some daiges may get caught up in kubika mapoto with an oan who ain’t do right with baby mama #1, #2, #3, #4, etc.

So what's the point of being part of that harem thinking kubika mapoto is gonna change the next oan?

Facts. Unfortunately, it's plenty of them daiges who actually believe they can turn him around from being a playa.

 

[Queen]

What makes kuchaya mapoto entirely all bad when some people end up getting married in the process?

In Chivanhu there is something called mombe youmai which must be paid before the mother-in-law dies otherwise that mombe youmai will create unexplained paranormal problems if the mother-in-law passes on untimely.

Many people who do that kubika mapoto thing don't know that. However, it won't be much of an issue if the person involved in kuchaya mapoto is exotic.

 

[Bla Jedza]

Is there anything like engagement rings in Chivanhu?

 

[Scorpio]

Is there anything like engagement rings in Chivanhu?

There is no such thing. In fact, the whole idea of Engagement and having a fiance is Chirungu, not Chivanhu chedu.

But people, in general, they mix Chirungu and Chivanhu together when doing things. Another example is having a Zim white wedding after paying lobola.

 

[Queen]

Is there anything like engagement rings in Chivanhu?

What you are talking about is Western culture zvema engagement rings izvo.

 

[Numero Uno]

Am I the only person who doesn't see marriage as a priority?

 

[Borrowdale Barron]

Am I the only person who doesn't see marriage as a priority?

Marriage is not a priority but necessity how about that? And if you don't see it as one of the above... you got a problem.

 

[Queen]

Marriage is not a priority but necessity how about that? And if you don’t see it as one of the above... you got a problem.

It's not a necessity either. Water is a necessity because, without it, a person dies. Not marrying won't kill you.

 

[Lenard]

Of course, there are some folks who get married doing that sort of thing.

On the other side, some daiges may get caught up in kubika mapoto with an oan who ain't do right with baby mama #1, #2, #3, #4, etc.

So what's the point of being part of that harem thinking kubika mapoto is gonna change the next oan?

Those type of women already degrade themselves with the things they do.

 

[Black Panther]

Those types of women already degrade themselves with the things they do.

Yes, and I also don't understand how "some women" are so proud to be the side piece? Like you don't look good at all. Can't seem to get your own man?